plus a couple of will rogers classics.
as collected by robert e. mckenzie
each year i share a little tax humor during tax season …
“when not on vacation (which is a lot of the time, fortunately for the republic), congress can be hazardous to our health.” – mike causey, federal news radio, 4/6/17
“to err is human, but this you should learn. do not be human on your tax return.” – tony anton
“alexander hamilton started the u.s. treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.” – will rogers (fast forward to today: 2020 deficit projected at over $1 trillion.)
“if you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.” – will rogers
“last night in his speech, president trump called for another complete overhaul of the tax code. he said he was shocked to find out that some millionaires in this country were still paying taxes.” – unknown
“since a presidential spokesperson believes in alternative truth, this year i am paying my taxes in alternative money.” – unknown
“i’ve never visited the internal revenue service building in washington. i imagine the inside to be a labyrinth, adorned by gargoyles and lit torches. a steady drip of water echoes. steam rises from the damp floor. the walls are moist, jagged rocks. that would certainly explain a lot, especially if you’ve ever tried to resolve a problem with the gatekeepers of the seventh circle. (and yes, i realize that writing something, with my name attached to it, about the irs places me in grave danger. if this turns out to be my last column, tell the world my story.)” – lancaster online 4-15-17
and finally …
a doctor and a lawyer in two cars collided on a country road. the lawyer, seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helped him from the car and offered him a drink from his hip flask. the doctor accepted and handed the flask back to the lawyer, who closed it and put it away.
“aren’t you going to have a drink yourself?” asked the doctor.
“sure, after the police leave,” replied the attorney.
